Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Ladies vs Real Women

Ladies
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

Real Women
If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

Ladies
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Real Women
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?

Ladies
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Women
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.

Ladies
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Real Women
Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Ladies
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside of the cake.

Real Women
Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate it for you.

Ladies
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Real Women
Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.

Ladies
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Real Women
Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.

And finally the most important tip!.....

Ladies
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Women
Leftover wine??

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"

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