Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Cana-der

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some
Questions people the world over are asking!!!! Believe it or not these questions about Canada Were posted on an International Tourism Website, obviously the answers are a joke;

But the questions were really asked!!!!!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto; can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy )
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-DA is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary,straight after the hippo races. Now you come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name.It 's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first

Monday, April 27, 2009

Phat Black Top 1oo


TOP 100 MOMENTS IN CANADIAN URBAN HISTORY

1) Canada’s 1st All Urban Music Station Flow 93.5 launches
2) Sean Paul “Dutty Rock’” album sells 7 X Platinum
3) Little X the hottest video director in the world
4) Master T (Muchmusic) Launch Urban Nationally
5) Nelly Furtado discovered at Honey Jam
6) Maestro becomes 1st Canadian rapper to sell Platinum
7) BabyBlue Becomes 1st Canadian Dj’s to sign a full Recording Deal
8) Toronto Granted a NBA franchise 1995 welcome Raptors
9) Saukrates 1st Canadian rapper to live freestyle on Hot 97
10) Shaq & Puff Daddy Floss at Toronto’s Caribana Parade
11) Taneisha #1 Dancer/Choreographer is everywhere
12) Choclair Goes Gold in 30 days
13) Swollen Members conquer Canada selling 3 X platinum
14) Babyblue 1st Canadian Group to perform on BET
15) Top Cat, John Salley & Big Daddy D launch the concert series at
Atlantis Entertainment Complex hire lead djs Babyblue
16) Wayne Warner (what more is there to say)
17) Michee Mee front stage centre in Latifahs Ladies 1st video
18) Babyblue’s Private Party 1 Sells Platinum
19) Kardinal signs and releases Full length Album with MCA US
20) Mike Malcolm Mesfin Hayle go exclusive
21) Vp of EMI Europe Russ Hurgert (Phredline) a man on the move
22) “KAOS IS PLATINUM
23) Caribanna Cancelled??????
24) Sauks on Tour with Nelly!!!!!!
25) In Essence team up with Funk Master Flex
26) Sol G turns down Puffy Daddys Bad Boy Job offer
27) Snows Informer goes Platinum
28) Choclair, Saukrates, Kid Kut film T.V. commercial for Pisces/Aries
B-day event
29) Mr.Metro “Devon” says ease up the pressure
30) Ivan Berry we need another Rap/Groove Essentials Compilation
31) Jamie Foxx tap dances on top of 100 K Grand Piano at Film Fest
Lloyd tap dances to the Bank
32) Rascalz make History refuse to accept Hip Hop Juno off camera
33) Rascalz release One of the hottest songs Canada has ever
heard “Nothern Touch”
34) Michee Mee signs to Priority Records (same label as M.C. Lyte)
35) Omega Rough Necks close yet another T.O. Club
36) Choclair signs major record deal with Virgin EMI
37) Puddy Launches the “Öfficial SCOTIAN JAM”
38) Little X introduces the birth of the Video Vixon (thank you)
39) KRS One feat Michee Meee twice “BIG tunes”
40) K Kut and Main Source dominate Hip Hop World
41) DJ BRAVESTAR becomes DR.JAY SOCA explodes into T.O. Mainstream
42) Spectrum introduces Starting From Scratch ala Al Capone/Uncle B
43) Brawl at Soca Vibes New Years event ends their evening and career early
44) Vince Carter B-day Bash at Atlantis 1000 people inside 2000
People outside
45) RedMan gets punched in his grill Kieth Murray comes to the rescue
Outside the Toronto’s Rapfest that never was
46) Big Apple is Here Äpples World
47) Whitey Don signs with BMG records track with KRS and
Phife Dawg
48) Legendary King Turbo vs Red Flame clashes
49) Doren closes Studio 69 Opens new Restaurant Muse
50) Rewind held up @ Gun point by Corbette ??? wowow
51) Michee Mee rejects Trak Masters deal offer w 50 cent
As the ghost writer
52) Method and RedMan record with Sauks and E3
53) Big Daddy Kane swears he will never come to Canada again
54) O.R.B dunnns the Place
55) Taaaaanieeeeshaaaaaaaaa………
……………………??????
56) K-Note Peace’s out to Australia the Way Out Back
57) A young Kiesha Chante changes the Urban landscape
58) Jones & Jones becomes Kings of Kings
59) Scratch makes his presence felt “Tweeds & California Dreams”
60) Tony Duncan Strikes again and again and again
61) Russell Peters opens up for Queen Latifah and Chill Rob G
AS A DJ?????????? His rapper had a turbin “Im not joking”
62) Another Brother Noel creation Humber College Step Off is a Huge
success
63) Babyblue becomes 1st Canadian HipHop sound to tour around the
World Jamaica, Bermuda, US, England,
64) Power from Soul Controllers links with Jabba from Hot 97
65) Kardinal feat Busta big tuen/Kardinal signs w Convict Records
66) Phyllis presents Club Epiphany’s (Wings and Festival)
67) Singlefoot becomes the Molson Guy “Hey Dude”
68) Shawn Desmond Rocks on European Tour with Missy Elliot
69) Tom Green releases Rap Album? (Check the O.R.)
70) Capitol Prophets Recording artist Massari sells Gold
71) Dj Preimiere makes a Banger for Choclair gives it to MOP thats "Ice Cold"
72) Live To Air is Born "WRECK SHOP RADIO" Introduced Dj Baba Khan
73) The Corporate Canadian takeover of Caribana is almost complete
74) Puffy bites Nothern Touch beat & Barington Levy song from Rascalz
75) Chase rolls Barrys Range Rover/ Video is never seen again
“Hate Runs Deep in the Hearts of Many, Hate Can Determine Your
Fate”
76) Comedic Super Talent Jason Martin explodes onto the scene with the Help
of some life long friends including ME Kerry the talent finder strikes again
77) Trixx Rips Flow 935 apart in new Live Comedy act,
78) The Amnesia Party series is Born
79) Kiss quickly switches away from urban leaving Dj X without a job
80) Crown, Playline, Black Star graphics corner market hold promoters flyer prices hostage
81) Canada goes Urban with new stations in Vancouver, Calgary, Toronto, Ottawa, Winnipeg, Edmonton, St Catherines
82) Nubi wins World Clash
83) Ron Nelson switches from the Fantastic Voyage to ReggaeMania
84) Brother Noel creates the famous Black Prom Series
85)Glen Lewis turns down writing sessions w Usher & Mary J???
86) Damian Marley asks Kardinal to open up for his London England date
87) The All-Star University Tour Goes National
88) 316 Windsor Sports Weekend "Grand Opening Grand Closing
89) Windsor Sports Weekend is Born (Carisa)
90) Universal drops Babyblue like a Hott Potatoe it wasnt the cd sales(hmm)
91) Dream Warriors “Don’t wash Your Face In My Sink” is a smash
Overseas
92)K.O.S. is Born Dr.Jay, E-Man, Court Jester, D-Bandit,
93) Mike launches Flavor Pool
94) Dexter launches Soul Choice
95) GRoss park shot the **** Up I told them to end it when it got dark (they didnt listen)
96) Mixed Cd’s banned in Canada dealers fined 10,000 ea
97) A well known dj buys illegal Babyblue cd and sends it along with a receipt to Universal President. Ironically this helped to get Babyblue their record deal
98)Jully Black records with Nas "If Heaven was a world away"
99)Flavor Pool Closes (2007)
100) Jully Blacks Album is the BOMB>>>>>>>>>>>>

* Copied with permission from my lil bro KLC