United Force Presents ........

Summer Blaze Mixtape
http://soundcloud.com/unitedforce/summerblazemixtape-the-house-heads-are-coming-edition

WHY ????????????????????

Why, Why, Why
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. I've done my job and posted this for you.

Classic Ballad

I have always been a fan of the classic love song,oldies ballads are favorite of mine. Even when we had our old radio show" Red-light Radio" on Project Bounce we used to end each funk-filled episode with a classic slow jam.It was a bit odd for a hip hop station. So was having an old school show end off a week of tunes that would make you break your neck.Being the hopeless romantic that I am I think I am going to bring back that tradition as best as I can. This track is not my favorite of ballads but it is one that tugs at your heart...sniff sniff
My commentary doesn't do it justice. Let Steve Harvey of the Kings Of Comedy tell you about it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8diZ2XvXhM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbzkwLWK-Ps&feature=related

Marketing 101

"What is Marketing?

You see a handsome guy at a party.
You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

-That's Direct Marketing

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy.
One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says,
"She's fantastic in bed.

- That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party.
You go up to him and get his telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

- That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
You get up and straighten your dress.
You walk up to him and pour him a drink.
You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie
brushing yourself slightly against his arm, and then say,
"By the way, I'm fantastic in bed.

- That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
He walks up to you and says,
I hear you're fantastic in bed."

- That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
You talk him into going home with your friend.
Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

- That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there
could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing.
So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center
and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed

- That's Spam.

Can U Dance 2 My Beat

Can U Dance 2 My Beat

Beats United Radio 5 Yr Anniversary Party

Host:	SWEET TEARS... House Music All Night Long (Say Whaat?)!!!
Type:	Party - Night of Mayhem
Network:	Global

Start Time:	Saturday, May 30, 2009 at 10:00pm
End Time:	Sunday, May 31, 2009 at 4:00am
Location:	Chic Chinoise
Street:	214 King Street West (across from Roy Thompson Hall)
City/Town:	Toronto, ON
	View Google Map Google MapQuest Microsoft Yahoo

Phone:	6473099679
Email:	askedson@hotmail.com

Description

“Beats United Radio", on the airwaves of CHRY 105.5FM for 5 years strong, started out as the legendary Rhythm Method (1989)/Deep Section (2000) with T.O.’s own Mitch Winthrop, Greg Gow and Nick Holder on Friday nights. After passing the torch to DJ’s Johnny Lopez and Jeff Graham and host Kimmy, the show was moved to Monday nights 11pm-1am and has showcased the finest in local and international talent such as Josh Milan (Blaze, NYC), “Jellybean” Benitez (ANBAHP, NYC) & DJ FLX (3 Degrees, CHI) to name a few…


And to help us mark the occasion we're importing one of The Leaders of the Deep House New School...


FILSONIK – (Syam – Objektivty - NYC)


From Louie Vega, Osunlade and Tony Touch to label mates Dennis Ferrer & The Martinez Bros, the company that Filsonik keeps is a true reflection of what his sound is all about… That Next Level Shit!!! Reared on a healthy diet of hip hop, latin disco, and reggae music on the city's Lower East Side, this production prodigy has spent the early part of ’09 re-mixing, re-editing and re-touching his crates in preparation for an all out assault on dance floors across the land… If you were lucky enough to catch any of his buzzed about sets this year @ WMC in Miami then you already know!!!



Setting the table will be...

Johnny Lopez + Jeff Graham
(Beats United Radio)

Tyrone Solomon
(Sweet Tears - 83 West)



With your hosts...

Taboo "The Life Of The Party"

Winston 'Frekkls' Fleming

Hyped? Ent & Kimmy

Ladies vs Real Women

Ladies
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

Real Women
If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

Ladies
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Real Women
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?

Ladies
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Women
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.

Ladies
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Real Women
Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Ladies
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside of the cake.

Real Women
Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate it for you.

Ladies
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Real Women
Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.

Ladies
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Real Women
Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.

And finally the most important tip!.....

Ladies
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Women
Leftover wine??

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"

Free Caribana Mixed Cd

TOMMOROW NIGHT IS THE OFFICAL RELEASE FOR THE HOT 97/BET ALL STAR CELEBRITY PARTY MIX CD (TORONTO VERSION) AT THE GUVERMENT LAST WEEK MONTREAL AND OTTAWA GOT THEIR VERSION TOMMOROW NIGHT ITS ALL ABOUT ILL KIDZ,SPEX AND D'ENFOCAS MIX CD! FREE FOR EVERYONE OVER 1500 COPIES WILL BE GIVEN AWAY. FOR THE 1ST 1O PEOPLE TO MESSAGE ME I WILL PUT U ON A FREE KONCEPT ENT GUEST LIST WHICH WILL RUN TO 1AM AND YOU WILL RECIVE YOUR COPY OF THE CD AND A LINE BY PASS UNTIL 1AM WHEN U WALK IN!!! CHECK OUT THE MONTREAL/OTTAWA VERSION OF THE HOT 97/BET CD MIXED BY DJ CAPONE AND EARTHQUAKE SOUND CREW
http://www.d_j_xtc.podomatic.com/